


Sunbeams and Flyaways

by LevvyWut



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU, Apologies, Artist! Connor!, Connor is trying to fix things, Cynthia the good mom(tm), Evan's only there for like a second, Everyone lives/ No body dies, He's a soft boi at heart, Michael's Craft Store, Might continue this might not, Zoe is mentioned, he's getting better, larry is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LevvyWut/pseuds/LevvyWut
Summary: He doesn't know when it started again; he certainly doesn't know how to feel about it.





	Sunbeams and Flyaways

**Author's Note:**

> the groupchat was making headcannons and this is one of them. 
> 
> this is for u guys

Connor didn't notice when he started drawing again. He doesn't remember when it happened. He remembers whenever he and Evan were passing notes in Chemistry and when he started doodling in the book he and Evan share to talk in class, but he doesn't know when he really started drawing again.

  
When he turned fifteen, he'd stopped drawing all at once. He'd stowed all his books and paintings away in a box that was shoved to the back of his closet. He remembers catching his mother crying that night, and he remember Zoe keeping the art he'd made for her up for almost two years after before finally taking it down.

  
He remembers seeing her take it off the back of her door. Remembers feeling like that was it, truly the last bit of himself taken away. Remembers being angry and having an outburst at Zoe and God he wishes he could go back and apologize for that and he feels stupid but he wants to go to the art shop after school.

  
Connor doesn't know how or when he started drawing again, but he doesn't understand how he's supposed to feel about it. He asks Evan to come to the store with him.

  
Connor buys a sketchbook for the first time in two years. Evan holds his hand, and even though Evan doesn't get why Connor's hands are shaking when he passes a twenty dollar bill over to the cashier, Evan still holds it.

  
Cynthia comes home at seven o'clock. Zoe is still at jazz band rehersal, and the faint scent of pine says that Evan was here, but isn't now. She steps into the kitchen, placing her groceries on the counter, about to call her son's name, but stops, glancing to the largely dark shadow sitting at the counter, a pencil in his hand.

  
"Oh, Hey, honey!"She pauses, beginning to unload the new jug of milk and carton of eggs.

  
She thinks for a moment that her son is doing homework, something he's taken to doing at the breakfast bar where he doesn't get distracted easily. He's taken to appearing out of his room more. He's taken to slinging his arm over his mother's shoulders when he introduces her to his friends. She's heard him laughing over the phone in the past few months more than she has in years. Cynthia has noticed the slow change. Cynthia has noticed that his bedroom smells of smoke less and less. Cynthia has prayed many nights for her son back, and finally, finally, she's felt like he's returning.

  
"Welcome home,"He glances up for a moment and smiles, hair tied back in a bun with flyaways hanging around his face.

  
"How was school?"

  
"It was good. I got an A on my English paper,"He replied, turning his attention back to the notebook in front of him.

  
"That's wonderful! Did Evan come over today?"

  
"Just for a little while. We went to Michael's after school."

  
A wave of confusion washes over Cynthia for a moment, but she masks it well. She tells herself that it was probably just for Evan to get something, maybe for a chemistry project that Connor hasn't told her about yet. Placing the last of the groceries in the cabinet, she finally turns and looks directly at Connor, who glances up again, a small grin spreading across his cheeks and she sees what he's working on.

  
It's a lovely pine tree, angled so that you can see the sky from the bottom of the trunk. It's a ray of God shot, it seems, lines of lighter whites and golds, some pink, cascading through green pine needles.

  
Cynthia starts crying before she can stop herself.

  
"Oh, Connor..."

  
Connor's still giving her that nervous, sort of lopsided grin, and for the first time in years she sees her little boy, the little ray of light that she knew. Her arms are suddenly wrapped around him and he's startled but slowly melts into her embrace, patting her back.

  
"Hey, Mom?"

  
"Yes, baby?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I was such shit for so long. I hurt you and I hurt Zoe. And even though Dad's an ass, I don't hate him anymore."  
  
"Oh, sweetheart!"She hears Connor's breathing hitch and they're both crying now. "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, baby. Shh, it's okay. It's gonna be alright."

  
"Mom?"

"Yes baby?"

  
"I love you."

  
"I love you too, Connor."


End file.
